What is my problem and why can't I stick to a regime?

The word 'regime' sounds so strict doesn't it? Could that be the problem?

I know what my problems are though and they affect not just my weight loss but every crook and cranny of my life. I'm a perpetual procrastinator and daydreamer.

Thinking back to when I was a child/teen I can now see what were early signs are now major problems. For example, you know when you start a brand new term in school (say September) I would say '' I'm gonna write my notes really neat '' or '' I'm going to do so and so '' and within a day or two that just goes out the window. I never stick to anything or I'll put it off until the very last minute.

I went Jamaica in May and I was still packing even when the cab came! The other day I had 6 assignments for college and on my way to one of the exams I snuck in just 6 minutes of revision before the exam and that was the only time I revised in the two weeks notice we received that we had an exam coming up. I managed to pass though but that is besides the point - this aspect of my personality can kill me. Obesity is no joke.

Now on researching ways to drop this 'habit' or 'personality trait' I came across this article

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How to Stop Your Procrastination Now

1. Procrastination is the great killer of our goals and aspirations. We always get caught in the cycle of hopeful enthusiasm, then second guessing, and finally resignation. The first step in stopping your procrastination now is MAKING A CLEAR DECISION OF WHAT YOU WANT. Do you want to be a writer? Do you want to do better in school? Make a clear decision what you want first and foremost.
2. The second step in stopping your procrastination now is LESSENING YOUR MOODINESS. For example, if you want to quit smoking, you are going to have to go through withdrawal sysmptoms before you stop having the craving. Sometimes you have to be strictly logical with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses in your life in order to make the desired changes.
   
3. The third step in stopping your procrastination now is to STOP DAYDREAMING. Daydreaming is great in the beginning because it'll let you know that you are not living the full life you are entitled to; after that, it becomes a hindrance as you get caught in your fantasies. Start doing and stop thinking about doing. I hope this has been a helpful article on how to stop procrastinating. Good luck! [Source]

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Number 3 suits me to the T! My heart actually sank when I read that bit; I'm such a daydreamer and I've been doing it since I was 12/13. I remember all my fantasies from they started to this day. I can't be without music as that is when I live in my own world. 

My virtual 'world' is also a hindrance, I live online and in my thoughts and while I live in a virtual reality my true reality is sliding pass.

Oh, did I also tell you guys that I'm a recluse? :( Oh boy, anyway I'm signing off for now. I'll continue another time.

“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be” -  George Sheehan

So This Is My First Post.....

Thanks for visiting my blog. I’ll introduce myself…
My name is ‘Tre or Tremaine’ and I’m overweight, considerably overweight in my opinion. I currently weigh 216.7 lbs but my highest weight is 224lbs (16 stones). As I write ’16 stones’ I find myself shaking my head.

How did I let myself get this big? So big to the point at age 24 I’m feeling aches and pains all over my body, so big that sometimes I don’t have my periods – you might think that’s too much information but I need to get it all out. So big that I get panic attacks of the thought of meeting new people. So big that I’m constantly thinking ”.. I don’t want to be scared or I might have a heart attack..”. I’m too young for this and more importantly – I’m too wise for this.



I’ve been this fat for so long, too long. I know what to do and what to eat but for some reason I just feel as if I can’t control what I’m eating. How dumb is that?! Hello! The food didn’t suddenly come alive and put a gun to my head on what I should or shouldn’t eat. I need to nip this in the bud.
I'm not healthy at this weight at all... I know you have women weighing 200lbs and healthy... heck, I have some in my family but I'm not one of them. I know women who weigh more than me still having their periods but I don't. The funny thing is I've yo-yoed so many times I now know my weight at which my periods stops - it's between 211 - 214. My periods are perfectly fine under that. But I don't want to be on the borderline of health. I just want to be healthy and look fly while doing it.
I keep saying this, then I start a new blog, then I delete that blog, then I start a new ‘diet’ then I fall off. Then I weigh myself everyday and if I ever put on 0.00000001 lb I feel like I’m about to have a nervous breakdown. This is ridiculous!
If I do lose, then I think ” ..ok then, I can have this then..”, then that little ‘treat’ turns into a big ol family sized crap food fest for just one.
I know what my problems are – so now is the time! Now I’m serious, I’ve said this atleast 20 times but I saw a picture of myself today…

By the way, my 3 1/2 year old daughter was playing with my camera behind me and must have snapped this – I’m so glad she did.
So what am I gonna do different I hear you ask – my answer is simply do it right.
Oh, by the way - on a good day I scrub up well! :p

hehe...

So I'm starting over:
As a baby I was born normal weight 7lbs supm
As a child I was a 'normal' size:

Normal sized teen (though I thought it was impossible for anyone to weigh more than me at that time - smdh)

And by calculation from when I first weighed myself at 147lbs (10st 7lbs) to now 217 lbs (15st 5lbs) I've gained 0.5lbs every month.
You see that right there - it sneaked up on me so slowly that I didn't even realised. It came on so slowly that my clothes still fit. And the thing is those were the days I would have two double whoppers in less than half hour! (Damn you buy one get one frees!).
Now I don't even eat a quarter of that junk and I gain weight - damn you age! lol
Anyway.. stay tuned if you don't mind my rants! xxx